Not so much about me

I've been struck lately by how much we make life about us. I do it all the time.

My sister paid a surprise visit yesterday. She lives about 3 hours away and came to town to see our parents.

My sister is immaculate. I have never seen a speck of dust in her house. Never. Well, she rings the door bell, gives me a big hug, and asks to use my bathroom and all I can think is "Oh, no. Did the kids wipe their toothpaste out of the sink?"

Now here is my poor sister, who has driven over 3 hours with her children, who is coming home to visit our parents not knowing if she will see our step mom again and I, in my self-centeredness, actually think she is going to give a flying fig if my bathroom isn't pristine. Goodness, don't you think she has bigger things on her mind than my bathroom sink. How very self-centered of me.

We are so much about us.

We try to cover it up by saying things like, "I want to be an example to other's," or "I don't want to cause others to stumble," but usually, in reality, we're just worried about US. We're worried about what others will think of US if we are not at all the proper church functions, what others will think of US if we don't say "yes" every time we are asked to serve. We are worried about US when our kids misbehave or heaven forbid forget to say "thank you" to the waitress. We're just plain worried about US. How very US centered.

I think this is why Grace, real, messy Grace freaks us out so much. It's not about US. It is not about what we do, it is about who HE is. It takes the US out of the equation. It tells us it is by His will, His choice that we were born into Christ (Jam 1:18), it tells us it is He who makes us Holy, not US or our wills (Heb 2:11). It tells us that He gets all the credit. He has reconciled us to Him, He died to present us as holy and blameless (Col 2:22).

We like thinking we have somehow merited His favor. We like to measure our service, base our service on the rules of men (Isa 29:13). After all, it feels good to measure up. We make it about us. It is hard to realize our striving, our adherence to the law means nothing in the face of the One who is the end of the law (Rom 10:4). We would rather hold onto the cult we have created which tells us it is our pretty church dresses and our prohibition life styles that make us good.

Sadly, this "US" centered faith is robbing us of the joy of really knowing God, the God who says, "I will never reject my own" (Jer 31:37). The God who says there is "not one who is made righteous by observing the law" but then, in such grace, went on to make us righteous through the redemption offered in Christ Jesus (Romans 3:20-3:24).

I want to end by sharing with you that my sister loves me, really loves me. Yesterday she came to see me. She wanted to see her little sister. In the midst of a marathon day, she stopped to see me, not my clean house. I should have squealed with delight upon opening my front door and seeing her face. Instead, I robbed myself of joy, I traded it in for a few minutes that were all about me.

I don't want to make that trade anymore, especially when it involves the crazy Grace of my King. Any trading in reference to that is a very bad deal. Instead, I want to live in the radical joy of my salvation, a salvation that is not the least bit about me!