This past weekend I spent the day at the beach with a friend from my childhood, a dear friend but one I do not see very often. It was just the two of us and we had a marvelous time doing absolutely nothing. We spent the day on the beach relaxing in the sun. Pure delight! I actually relaxed with my head down, eyes closed, not even facing the water! Those of you who are moms know what a rare thing this is, to have no worries of where your sand covered munchkins are or what they are doing, not scanning the water thinking, "Could there be sharks?" (I have a shark phobia. I'm neurotic).
My friend and I laughed a lot this weekend as we shared memories. She was the friend that I did things with that if my daughter ever does I will really want to send her away to some cloister. They weren't regrettable things or shameful things just mischievous, life endangering things. For those of you who have been in my Jewels of His Crown seminar I will sum it up by saying we are both bright sapphires! Sparks were always flying.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
"The God of the Old Testament"
"The God of the Old Testament”
I shudder when I hear this phrase. I shudder because it is usually accompanied by, "Well, let's not forget the God of the Old Testament, He was a God of wrath, He laid waste to nations. He is a God not to be messed with." I
I shudder because I know I have used the phrase in this very same way. The way which says, "Let's not get too carried away with this Grace thing, let's remember our boundaries, we are just worms after all."
I have a friend whose father loves to use this term. She has grown up hearing it. When she has fallen short of his expectations he has used many verses in a very damning way. One day when a group of us were discussing the love offered to us on the cross she quietly asked, "Well, what about the God of the Old Testament?" I knew instantly what she was asking. She wanted to know how the grace that is ours in Christ Jesus can be melded together with the stories of the Old Testament. Is the grace of Jesus Christ, the redemption and freedom of the cross something new that God came up with in between Malachi and Mathew? Was Jesus simply God changing His tactics and moving to Plan B?
I shudder when I hear this phrase. I shudder because it is usually accompanied by, "Well, let's not forget the God of the Old Testament, He was a God of wrath, He laid waste to nations. He is a God not to be messed with." I
I shudder because I know I have used the phrase in this very same way. The way which says, "Let's not get too carried away with this Grace thing, let's remember our boundaries, we are just worms after all."
I have a friend whose father loves to use this term. She has grown up hearing it. When she has fallen short of his expectations he has used many verses in a very damning way. One day when a group of us were discussing the love offered to us on the cross she quietly asked, "Well, what about the God of the Old Testament?" I knew instantly what she was asking. She wanted to know how the grace that is ours in Christ Jesus can be melded together with the stories of the Old Testament. Is the grace of Jesus Christ, the redemption and freedom of the cross something new that God came up with in between Malachi and Mathew? Was Jesus simply God changing His tactics and moving to Plan B?
Monday, June 4, 2007
Of dog dishes and Jeshurun
My littlest one has been driving me nutty over the past few weeks. She is almost 17-months old and she is a pistol. This morning I learned she can maneuver down the stairs. I discovered this upon finding her in our basement, dancing in the dogs water dish and having a marvelous time. Mind you, I had seen her in the kitchen only moments earlier and thought she was still there until finding her at the crime scene.
She is a corker. Add to this the fact that she has the biggest blue eyes and a smile that just makes you laugh and you have real cause for concern. She is hard to discipline while keeping a straight face.
She is a corker. Add to this the fact that she has the biggest blue eyes and a smile that just makes you laugh and you have real cause for concern. She is hard to discipline while keeping a straight face.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
I had forgotten
I have witnessed a miracle.
My step mom went in for surgery this week to remove as much of the tumor as possible and for a radical hysterectomy. The surgery was supposed to be about seven hours long as the doctor felt he would also need to remove as many of the affected organs as possible, perhaps the colon, parts of the liver, lungs, lymph nodes...recovery would include a breathing tube and days in the intensive care unit. The surgery itself was, at best, a risk.
After only three hours in surgery the doctor came out to give us what we thought was an update. Instead, he informed us he was finished and that it was the oddest surgery of his career. My step mom, he explained, does not have normal ovarian cancer. Instead, she has an extremely rare form of cancer, usually only found in young women, which is basically non-invasive, a cancer without the will to fight, sort of like a declawed, toothless lion. Although it had grown on other organs and was very large, it had not invaded into them and was therefore easy to remove and even better, easier to cure.
My step mom went in for surgery this week to remove as much of the tumor as possible and for a radical hysterectomy. The surgery was supposed to be about seven hours long as the doctor felt he would also need to remove as many of the affected organs as possible, perhaps the colon, parts of the liver, lungs, lymph nodes...recovery would include a breathing tube and days in the intensive care unit. The surgery itself was, at best, a risk.
After only three hours in surgery the doctor came out to give us what we thought was an update. Instead, he informed us he was finished and that it was the oddest surgery of his career. My step mom, he explained, does not have normal ovarian cancer. Instead, she has an extremely rare form of cancer, usually only found in young women, which is basically non-invasive, a cancer without the will to fight, sort of like a declawed, toothless lion. Although it had grown on other organs and was very large, it had not invaded into them and was therefore easy to remove and even better, easier to cure.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Not so much about me
I've been struck lately by how much we make life about us. I do it all the time.
My sister paid a surprise visit yesterday. She lives about 3 hours away and came to town to see our parents.
My sister is immaculate. I have never seen a speck of dust in her house. Never. Well, she rings the door bell, gives me a big hug, and asks to use my bathroom and all I can think is "Oh, no. Did the kids wipe their toothpaste out of the sink?"
Now here is my poor sister, who has driven over 3 hours with her children, who is coming home to visit our parents not knowing if she will see our step mom again and I, in my self-centeredness, actually think she is going to give a flying fig if my bathroom isn't pristine. Goodness, don't you think she has bigger things on her mind than my bathroom sink. How very self-centered of me.
We are so much about us.
We try to cover it up by saying things like, "I want to be an example to other's," or "I don't want to cause others to stumble," but usually, in reality, we're just worried about US. We're worried about what others will think of US if we are not at all the proper church functions, what others will think of US if we don't say "yes" every time we are asked to serve. We are worried about US when our kids misbehave or heaven forbid forget to say "thank you" to the waitress. We're just plain worried about US. How very US centered.
I think this is why Grace, real, messy Grace freaks us out so much. It's not about US. It is not about what we do, it is about who HE is. It takes the US out of the equation. It tells us it is by His will, His choice that we were born into Christ (Jam 1:18), it tells us it is He who makes us Holy, not US or our wills (Heb 2:11). It tells us that He gets all the credit. He has reconciled us to Him, He died to present us as holy and blameless (Col 2:22).
We like thinking we have somehow merited His favor. We like to measure our service, base our service on the rules of men (Isa 29:13). After all, it feels good to measure up. We make it about us. It is hard to realize our striving, our adherence to the law means nothing in the face of the One who is the end of the law (Rom 10:4). We would rather hold onto the cult we have created which tells us it is our pretty church dresses and our prohibition life styles that make us good.
Sadly, this "US" centered faith is robbing us of the joy of really knowing God, the God who says, "I will never reject my own" (Jer 31:37). The God who says there is "not one who is made righteous by observing the law" but then, in such grace, went on to make us righteous through the redemption offered in Christ Jesus (Romans 3:20-3:24).
I want to end by sharing with you that my sister loves me, really loves me. Yesterday she came to see me. She wanted to see her little sister. In the midst of a marathon day, she stopped to see me, not my clean house. I should have squealed with delight upon opening my front door and seeing her face. Instead, I robbed myself of joy, I traded it in for a few minutes that were all about me.
I don't want to make that trade anymore, especially when it involves the crazy Grace of my King. Any trading in reference to that is a very bad deal. Instead, I want to live in the radical joy of my salvation, a salvation that is not the least bit about me!
My sister paid a surprise visit yesterday. She lives about 3 hours away and came to town to see our parents.
My sister is immaculate. I have never seen a speck of dust in her house. Never. Well, she rings the door bell, gives me a big hug, and asks to use my bathroom and all I can think is "Oh, no. Did the kids wipe their toothpaste out of the sink?"
Now here is my poor sister, who has driven over 3 hours with her children, who is coming home to visit our parents not knowing if she will see our step mom again and I, in my self-centeredness, actually think she is going to give a flying fig if my bathroom isn't pristine. Goodness, don't you think she has bigger things on her mind than my bathroom sink. How very self-centered of me.
We are so much about us.
We try to cover it up by saying things like, "I want to be an example to other's," or "I don't want to cause others to stumble," but usually, in reality, we're just worried about US. We're worried about what others will think of US if we are not at all the proper church functions, what others will think of US if we don't say "yes" every time we are asked to serve. We are worried about US when our kids misbehave or heaven forbid forget to say "thank you" to the waitress. We're just plain worried about US. How very US centered.
I think this is why Grace, real, messy Grace freaks us out so much. It's not about US. It is not about what we do, it is about who HE is. It takes the US out of the equation. It tells us it is by His will, His choice that we were born into Christ (Jam 1:18), it tells us it is He who makes us Holy, not US or our wills (Heb 2:11). It tells us that He gets all the credit. He has reconciled us to Him, He died to present us as holy and blameless (Col 2:22).
We like thinking we have somehow merited His favor. We like to measure our service, base our service on the rules of men (Isa 29:13). After all, it feels good to measure up. We make it about us. It is hard to realize our striving, our adherence to the law means nothing in the face of the One who is the end of the law (Rom 10:4). We would rather hold onto the cult we have created which tells us it is our pretty church dresses and our prohibition life styles that make us good.
Sadly, this "US" centered faith is robbing us of the joy of really knowing God, the God who says, "I will never reject my own" (Jer 31:37). The God who says there is "not one who is made righteous by observing the law" but then, in such grace, went on to make us righteous through the redemption offered in Christ Jesus (Romans 3:20-3:24).
I want to end by sharing with you that my sister loves me, really loves me. Yesterday she came to see me. She wanted to see her little sister. In the midst of a marathon day, she stopped to see me, not my clean house. I should have squealed with delight upon opening my front door and seeing her face. Instead, I robbed myself of joy, I traded it in for a few minutes that were all about me.
I don't want to make that trade anymore, especially when it involves the crazy Grace of my King. Any trading in reference to that is a very bad deal. Instead, I want to live in the radical joy of my salvation, a salvation that is not the least bit about me!
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